The San Diego Home Blog

This Knoxville, Tennessee agent wants you to know that his client may be motivated, but he’s not, like, certifiably nuts — yet.

There is nothing I like better than a little truth in advertising.

I love the graphic which is displayed in this post about plagiarism. Hover your mouse over the picture if you dare.

Actually, I have no problem sharing this work of art. Granted, it took me exactly 2 minutes to draw this timeless masterpiece using the touchpad on my laptop, but I am more than willing to share. Considering the context, however, a photo credit would have been a nice touch.

Too funny.

An article ran on Sunday in the San Diego Union Tribune which occupied nearly a quarter of one page. It was an apology of sorts, and it was the important kind of piece worthy of a four-column span.

It seems that in the Easter Sunday edition, some 8,000 estimated subscribers received a paper with (get this) the previous week’s comics section! As you might imagine, this didn’t go unnoticed. Angry calls poured in. “Garfield already said that!” Sure, the other “filler” stuff that we have come to enjoy in our daily rag was somewhat contemporary, stuff about some war and a bunch of guys running for president of some country and something about a housing market crisis. I wonder what Garfield thinks about all of that? Sorry, you will have to wait until next week to find out.

Funnies are only funny, I suppose, when they are new and fresh, which brings us to the Big Announcement. It is with a heavy heart that I announce this morning the end of the San Diego Home Blog. It’s time for a change. We are approaching three years here, during which time we managed a to eke out over 660 posts, but we are tired. If we keep going at this rate, if we refuse to evolve and embrace change, we will be no better than the folks who stole Easter. I don’t want to be the one who drives the nice man in Clairemont to the therapist’s couch because he was given the same stats two weeks in a row. One more article on Zillow, and I risk throwing our readers (all six of them) into a state of despair reminiscent of the time they learned The Archies weren’t real people singing in a real band. Or the time Odie ate the cat’s lasagna - same lasgna belonging to the same cat for two consecutive weeks.

I am joining Redfin.

This makes sense because:

• I am breathing.
• I have a real estate license.
• I know how to fill out online forms.
• I am breathing.

And I am kidding, of course, being that it is April Fools Day and all. But the whole FunnyGate incident left me thinking about the idea of change. In a time when I can more than satisfy my Dilbert needs for the next geologic cycle with a simple, two-second online search, there is by all appearances a rowdy throng of agitated newspaper subscribers wanting, dare I say needing, their Sunday morning dose of cartoon hilarity. These people are fewer in number than those like myself who wouldn’t have noticed if the entire Currents Section was suddenly being written in Sanskrit, but they still exist. And these are the people that our current real estate industry still tends to model their business and their efforts around.

This is the one thing that Redfin got right.

It is also the very thing they got wrong. Niche marketing is great, and building an entire business around a single niche, assuming it is large enough to feed the corporate kitty, is also dandy. But, when we start identifying those niches with our stereotypical goggles on, we may find ourselves limiting our actual client base and alienating a larger number of potential customers.

Although I find the Sunday comics an antiquated and flawed humor delivery system, you will notice that I admitted to having read the article about the boo-boo. Call me crazy, but I still read the paper. I have a blog, I know a little html, and I am turning more geek every day, but I still bypass msn.com in favor of the local paper front page for my headlines. I am a hybrid.

If you are a real estate agent over the age of 30 and under the age of retirement, you are an agent in transition, and it is the hybrid that is going to be the cornerstone of your business for the duration. Redfin’s web site, and many others like it, provide an awesome search experience. The Sunday classifieds are going to continue to appeal to a few, but the vast majority of real estate consumers will be getting their news online. How they search and where they search, however, has very little to do with how they buy and sell and with whom. Hybrids.

I encountered two classic examples of this during the past week. The first was a couple who invited us into their home to discuss market conditions and the timing for listing their home. Both were highly educated, both had done more research on real estate current events and economic indicators in the past month than ninety-nine percent of the working agents I know have done in their lifetimes. They had a pile of spreadsheets more impressive than Mel Gibson’s rap sheet. But, now it was time to bring it home. They are hiring an agent. We were referred, and not by Google, but by a real person living in our community.

My second recent hybrid encounter was a buyer. She is a Ph.D who just relocated to San Diego. We have been out looking at homes before. She brought to this meeting a steaming mound of computer printouts with school boundaries and test scores and listings. And she called the meeting as a courtesy. Given the market and her timing flexibility, she is planning on waiting until the end of the year to buy. In the meantime, however, she wants to continue looking at homes every couple of weekends to keep current on the market and the products and the prices. “Are you okay with that?” she wanted to know, saying that she didn’t want to misrepresent or waste my time. Yes, I am always “okay with that,” because that is what we do. We help people buy and sell homes within their timeframes and on their terms. The whole “buying a home thing” is a pretty big deal, after all.

There may come a day when you can entirely automate and depersonalize this business of ours. There may come a day when the vast majority of real estate consumers will be prepared to kick the agent as we know him to the curb. Yet while we are an industry and even a society in transition, I don’t expect to see this day during my career. Our clients for the foreseeable future will be hybrids; they want their Facebooks online and their Doonesbury in print. They want their real estate information on the Internet but they want their closing at the kitchen table.

When you think about it, that’s pretty funny.

I snapped this photo yesterday while on a reconnaisence visit to an upcoming listing. Yesterday, like today, is a perfect day it seems to look at homes. If you don’t believe me, just take a gander outside.

It’s at this moment raining like crazy in San Diego, which makes it “a great time to buy!” (if you are a waterfowl, that is). I’ll be checking my clients for webbed feet this afternoon as we head out on our intergalactic search for the perfect home. Anyone wanting to go out in this mess must mean business!

Oh, and the duck in the driveway would have been much funnier had I not later learned that it is a “pet,” and the owner had simply let her  - him? I didn’t check - out for some fresh air.

Tomorrow, more real estate chatter. But, today, the mainstream media gives us a nod.

Bloggers wield a heavy hammer indeed.

Ann Brenoff writes this morning about bloggers in the Los Angeles Times.  In her article, she mentions a bevy of real estate blogs, and it appears I just made the cut. Page two, last paragraph - I’m the closer. Either I’m Trevor Hoffman or an afterthought. Let’s go with the baseball analogy.

Even some agents have caught the “amuse them and they will come” fever. Kris Berg’s San Diego Home Blog is a “must read” because of her Erma Bombeck-like voice.

Erma Bombeck? How funny that our little “educate and get educated project” has found this voice. My children, however, aren’t laughing.

If blogs had been around 18 years ago when I spawned my first tax deduction, I would have been a much more effective parent. Where over the years I had come to rely on tired parenting tricks to shame my children into submission, such as singing “I’m Too Sexy” very loudly in the produce aisle or threatening to wear their clothes to Back to School Night, now I just play the blog card. “Clean your room, or I will post about it!” “No, Mom, Puleeeease!”

The power is intoxicating.

Yet, as cool as the Los Angeles Times thinks I am, my own IRA-siphons think I am yesterday’s newspaper. When I proudly announced that I had finally signed up for Facebook, one daughter (with a quizzical look similar to the one she flashed when I suggested she get one of those job-thingies) wondered aloud, “Why?” When I sent my two satellites-in-perpetual-orbit-around-the-dinner-table the recent invitation to be my GoogleTalk friends, they ignored me. That is, once they had quit howling with riotous laughter.

Who needs a rubber chicken? Unless, of course, it’s the entree.

“Realtor blogs help reel in clients, boost sales” is the title of the LA Times piece. Clients? Boost sales? Now, there’s an interesting angle I hadn’t thought of!

Call me for all of your real estate needs… or I might blog about it.

Yeah - That works. (Just kidding!)

From declining home prices to the mortgage mess, 2007 was a wild time for real estate agents and homeowners alike. As we say in our biz, you don’t know when you’ve hit bottom until you find yourself gazing back into the crevasse. It was a year of suffering - wildfires, war, and Sanjaya Malakar - and, as we head into an election year, the question remaining on everyone’s minds is, “Do I have a prepayment penalty?” With that, I bring you my year in review.

January

The Presidential campaigns are in full swing, and Democratic candidate Joe Biden kicks things off in fine form:

I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy, I mean, that’s a storybook, man.

Americans everywhere take great offense to the slanderous stereotype until he clarifies that he meant to say not “African-American” but “Realtor.” A relieved and understanding public forgives the gaffe. Biden’s approval rating immediately soars.

Meanwhile, the National Association of Realtors issues a statement that it is “a great time to buy.”

February

Do bees have ARMS? In what would later be considered prophetic, University of Illinois’ May Berenbaum remarks, “Imagine waking one morning to find 80 percent of the people in your community are just gone.” While many homeowners are realizing that they may be in danger of losing their homes, the buzz in the scientific community is that bees are vanishing at an astounding rate.

Also this month, the world is asking Dannielynn, “Who’s your daddy?”, while a twelve-year-old Victorville resident reportedly responds to the National Association of Realtors’ call to action and finally realizes his American Dream with the help of a 172% stated income loan brokered by Honest Al’s Factory Direct Furniture & Mortgages Galore.

There is a war going on, but no one notices. They are too busy trying to find their missing bees while some bald chick named Britney is trying to find her missing career. Sadly, there is evidence of neither at the MTV Music Awards.

March

Top United Nations weapons experts find no evidence to suggest that Iraq has an active nuclear weapons program, while an undeterred Dick “Dick” Cheney, citing imminent threat to national security, declares war on all countries ending in the letter “e.”

April

National Association of Realtors Chief Economist David Lereah resigns. In his farewell speech, he bravely predicts that home prices will peak in mid-2005, making mid-2004 a great time to buy!

May

Jerry Falwell dies. No one notices, as everyone is questioning their own faith in a higher power. How could the Big Guy who brought us the Giant Sequoia, the Northern Lights, Stuffed Crust Pizza, and the stated-income loan at the same time allow world hunger, global warming, and David Hasselhoff? This sparks the theory of life being a group blog. Meanwhile, Lindsay Lohan, heeding the advice of her publicist who said that she should be seen drunk and throwing up more often, is seen drunk and throwing up more often. Redfin’s Glenn Kelman appears on 60 Minutes, which makes a lot of Realtors want to drink and, well, you know. 

June

There is still a war going on, but nobody notices. Concerned that nobody is noticing that there is still a war going on, President “Dick” Cheney declares war on Monaco (now spelled “Monacoe”), just for the hell of it.

Further capitalizing on his patent of the First Person, Steve Jobs releases his latest “i” product, the iDon’tHaveAnyMoreHomeEquity PDA. The attractive touch screen features icons bearing the likenesses of Lotto Tickets, Hummers, and Ben Bernanke.

The National Association of Realtors declares that today at 2:00 pm is a great time to buy!

July

Would you like fries with that, please? A Wendy’s drive-thru employee gets her clock cleaned for not saying the magic words. Always quick to adapt, the National Association of Realtors unveils its new ad campaign, It’s a great time to buy! Please!

Also this month, the 19th and what J.K. Rowlings promises will be the final book in the series is released. Fans line up at midnight to bag their copy of Harry Potter and the Order Of the Senior’s Menu Entree. Meanwhile, J.K. Rowlings begins work on what she promises will be the final book in the series (and she really means it this time), Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Kidney Stone.

August

A mere 55 years after a woman rams a pencil into her brain, the #2 device, more typically associated with writing stuff down, is surgically removed from her head. Dr. Hans Behrbohm, an ear, nose and throat specialist, gets the nod to extract the object, having successfully performed similar procedures involving a Rolling Writer, several Crayola crayons (Burnt Sienna and Midnight Blue), and an entire calligraphy set. Meanwhile, Mattel recalls millions of toys made in China because they may contain dangerous substances like, say, lead.

Scientists conclude that babies who watch videos have more limited vocabularies. In politics, Senator Larry Craig, after having watched the entire sixty-eighth season of Everybody Loves Raymond on DVD in a single sitting, finds himself at a loss for words and resorts to gesturing in an airport men’s room.

Do those wacky scientists ever take a vacation? This month, they report on the discovery of the largest void known to exist. Previously believed to be the San Diego Home Blog December archives, it turns out that a void located 1 billion light years away is slightly more empty and much more entertaining.

September

Iranian President Mahmoud Something Really Hard to Spell declares the whole messy issue of WMD closed. Moving on, and determined to expose and end all terrorist threats, Vice President Bush demands that weapons inspectors be allowed access to the South Bend Montessori School activity room. War is subsequently declared.

October

Al Gore has one crowded mantel as he wins the Nobel Peace Price, this following two Oscar victories for his documentary titled Oh, Crap! It’s Hotter Than Hell Outside, and We are All Gonna Die! His lesser known but critically acclaimed musical Low Voltage Lights on Broadway earned him a Tony. And, his grandson was named Shining Star at Lil’ Leftist Preschool Academy in May.

Wildfires ravaged Southern California. Lessons were learned during the Cedar fire in 2003 when, as a precaution, Scripps Ranch residents were ultimately evacuated from their homes, albeit in 2005, after emergency personnel had successfully extinguished the fire with several spray bottles and a turkey baster. Officials this time around take no chances. All residents of San Diego County, Riverside County, and Butte, Montana, will be ringing in the New Year as they remain under mandatory evacuation “just in case someone smells smoke again.” Reports of airtankers prematurely extinguishing a man’s George Foreman Grill with an 8 million pound blanket of fire retardant are unconfirmed.

November

According to the Realtor.org website:

David Lereah said the “modest gains are expected for home sales. “As the housing market recovers from its correction, existing-home sales should be rising gradually through 2007 - it looks like we may have reached the low point for the current cycle in September.”

No, wait, that happened in November of 2006. In  2007, Mr. Lereah’s successor, Lawrence Yun, has this to say:

While some local markets will do better than others, the national home sales and prices will be similar in 2008 as in 2007.

Now, that’s funny!

December

The White House unveils the popular Do-Over Plan to assist homeowners facing a resetting of their mortgage interest rates from the lower “teaser rates”, or as they are called in the industry, “imaginary friends.” Touted as a “rate increase moratorium… aimed at helping homeowners, not speculative real estate buyers,” the proposal includes some strings. The owners must be current on their payments, thereby suggesting that they can afford the loans they can not afford, their loans must have been originated between February 30th and February 31st, the Year of the Ox, and they must produce x-rays verifying the absence of writing implements in their skull cavities. Three people qualify, but only under the People Who Bothered to Read Their Loan Docs exemption.

Pakistani former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto is assassinated. There is nothing funny about this. And there is still a war going on.

Wishing you a happy and healthy 2008!

The Declaration of Independence 

If we had a dollar for every time… How many times have we said that? At the risk of compromising our street cred, this latest one is for real. Well, actually, it’s not the latest, as we have been hearing it for about twelve months running. We hear it when we are holding an open house, at the grocery store, at a school function and even at the gas station. We hear it from the prospective buyers. After asking us, “How long has it been on the market?”, ”Why are they moving?”, and “Is there going to be a price reduction soon?”, we inevitably hear the next declaration.

“I think I’ll just wait SIX MONTHS.”

A thoughtful explanation invariably ensues. “My (dentist, Uncle Phil, barber, therapist, insurance guy, mailman) says that in SIX MONTHS it will be the right time to buy.” Of course, these experts have it all over Jim Cramer from CNBC who, as our alert reader ”Rido” pointed out, identified next March as the bottom of the market and, therefore, “the time” to buy homes again. The Federal Reserve Board, most economists, and even the National Association of Realtors have yet different opinions, but what do they know? Naturally, the smart money is on Uncle Phil.

Six months, six months, six months… There are so many people waiting to make a home purchase, and all of these people seem to be zeroing in on a single day 182 1/2 days from now. You heard it here first: All hell is going to break loose.

The one thing we most need in this current market is certainty. Thankfully, we seem to have a quorum and a consensus. All seem to agree that the optimum buying time-frame is six months. The only remaining question is, “Six months from when?”  

We the People 

Somebody has to take a leadership role. So, we are here to bring sanity to the table. A moving target causes angst, it causes frustration and it results in undue stress and premature graying. Wishy-washy targets benefit no one. We need to establish the exact day on when it will be okay for the ever-growing gridlock of buyers to safely venture from the sidelines.

Therefore, let it be known that, in order to create a more perfect union, the time begins now. Six months from today is May 15, 2008. If the barber, the dentist, Uncle Phil, and other studied pundits in our collective spheres of influence are all correct, do you have any idea what will happen on this date? It will be chaos.

Society Without Government 

The latent demand is just too enormous, and anarchy can get ugly. Remember the debut season of Tickle Me Elmo? Imagine, then, a day when throngs of home-seeking buyers take to the streets finally ready to call dibs on their favorite home (you know the one - “model-perfect”, “priced to sell” , “bring all offers”, “koi pond conveys”). And, then, they will proceed to beat the crap out of each other with their respective Zestimates. In order to avoid this impending doomsday scenario, we need to bring not just certaintly but order to the process.

Hail to the Chief

That’s why we propose May 15 as our newest National Holiday, “American Home Buying Day”. This way, we can all count on it and plan accordingly. Government agencies can coordinate traffic control and emergency personnel. Costs to the taxpayers can be offset by selling strategic advertising, such as “593 Shady Sunset Happy Place Lane brought to you by Jim’s Discount Tire and Mortgage.” Real estate agents will have lotteries to determine in which order their clients will get to see each home. “Number three-zero-six: Please report to “Lovingly Maintained 4BR Plus Bonus Room, Owner May Carry.” Thinking about it, this is so much better than the arbitrary way we do business now, just showing multiple and random homes, willy-nilly, over the course of months and months. Now, the conversation will be much different. Buyer: “Can we see the home this weekend?” Agent: “No, you’ll have to wait until American Home Buying Day. Take a number.”

America was made great by increasing efficiency which led to enhanced productivity. Eliminating all but one day a year to buy a home will do the same thing. It’s the six-month solution. We will fly our flag proudly, in the colors of Sienna Sand and Arizona White.

What a great country!