Dear NAR:
I am writing to apply for the job of Social Media Manager for the National Association of Realtors(little R). As reported by every real estate blog on the planet this week including NAR Wisdom, you are looking for one of these guys, and I may just be him. The duties as I understand them (and according to Pamela Kabati, NAR VP of Publications and Web Publishing, and reprinted here without permission) include the following:
This position makes it someone’s actual job at NAR to talk with NAR members when and where they choose to congregate in the digital space, adding value to those conversations in whatever ways this person — and by extension, NAR — can. For example, NAR has a lot of information at its Web sites and in its databases that can really help its members with their day-to-day business if it reaches them in a moment when it’s particularly relevant to them.
That is the actual job for me! Pick me! I love your web sites! Just yesterday, I overheard a bunch of agents talking about their need for a low-cost rocket launcher, and Bam! Talk about relevant. Wait, that’s NAR.org. You meant the other NAR. Consider yourself bookmarked. And consider me for the position of your ambassador, please!
In case you haven’t been paying attention, I am huge in the social media space. I have 124 Facebook friends, and I actually know who several of them are. I am excited to engage them all in the NAR conversation. You can find me on Twitter, of course. I think my stature there speaks for itself, as evidenced by this recent conversation which, I am proud to say, I initiated. (Note to file: Kris exhibits leadership skills.)
Me: @KimWood Dreamed last night that you joined our office. They gave you the big office with lots of windows.
NAR Member Congregating in the Digital Space: @KrisBerg I dunno…. I like California 
And I would need windows , lol
Now, at this point, had I been your Social Media Manager, which I am not (yet), I would have dutifully continued the dialogue.
Me: @KimWood How ’bout that NAR?
No worries, NAR. At the risk of seeming presumptuous, I have already reserved my new Twitter identities: @iloveNAR and @NARisGood. I can see Mexico from my backyard, and I am ready to serve. I am tired of standing by, watching everyone monetize this blogging thing but me. I am tired of being a sidekick; I want to lead! There is a space on my sidebar with your Code of Ethics’ name on it. All you have to do is ask — and send along that W-9.
I have already prepared a script for my first meeting in the digital space on your behalf.
Other Agent Congregating in the Digital Space: NAR sucks.
Me: No they don’t.
Other Agent: Yes they do.
Me: Don’t either.
Me: Have you checked out their white paper on low-cost rocket launchers?
Other Agent: Yes. But why do I have to pay four figures annually to enhance my listings on Realtor.com, the “Official Site of the National Association of Realtors(little R),” when I can post the same information on Zillow for free?
Me: ‘Cause.
Me: NAR is good.
I assure you that I will be a tireless champion of your Public Awareness Campaigns, including “It’s a great time to buy!,” “It’s a great time to sell!,” and your most recent call to action, “Move, dammit!” I won’t rest until every licensed agent has read your latest news release, “Pending Home Sales Up Strongly,” even if they have to read it on their lunch break at Lowe’s.
But, enough shop talk. I understand that the position includes health benefits, something I find particularly attractive since, as a working Realtor(little R), my own group coverage (for which I pay the equivalent of Denmark’s gross domestic product) has been canceled three times in as many years. My current Trillion Dollar Deductible plan is somewhat limiting. Fortunately, I’m feeling fine.
I have to say, though. I am a little fuzzy on why you feel you need help in the area of social media marketing when you seem to have it nailed. Your job summary on Monster.com suggests that I will have to relocate to Chicago. Bingo! Chicago, after all, is where the Internet is headquartered. In fact, you probably won’t receive this query, as it is being penned from San Diego (a place far, far away). But if you do, I am really excited about some of the other benefits you offer:
Lastly, we are a business casual environment offering a free on-site fitness center, flexible Fridays (subject to approval), and discounted on-site massages.
Oh, please approve me for your flexible Fridays! Just tell me what I need to do. And as for the discounted massages, I could sure use one of those right now, as I am a little stressed over the public’s general disdain for me and every other Realtor(little R) out there, not to mentioned a teensy bit cash-strapped. I’m just curious, though. Are the virtual massages cheaper yet?
Cordially,
@krisberg
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Kris Berg is Co-Owner and Designated Broker of San Diego Castles Realty. If not-so static web sites are your thing, go here at once where you will find loads of real estate information including homes for sale, market trends, floor plans and more. Kris's hobbies include fencing and spot welding. She likes kittens. 
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Smithers (in response to your comment on the preceding post) – I am not sure what happened to the comments thing, but it is restored now. Probably NAR’s doing. (Don’t get me wrong; NAR is good.)
Kris,
How much did they pay you to say “NAR is good” in your comment? (Based upon title of post)
-Chad
Good humor, good point, think they will get it?
Kris,
As you know, I could care less about NAR, be they GOOD or otherwise, but I do check in on your blog because you are an entertaining writer. This was an entertaining post that I made me laugh out loud (LOL in twitter speak) as I read it. I thank you for that.
And remember, people may not think very highly Yeah,
somehow I hit send before finishing. Stupid lap-top.
What I was going to say is that people may not think very highly of realtors(r) (small r) these days, but it could be worse – you could be a banker or bond trader ….
Chad – No money changed hands (yet).
Steve – No.
Smithers – You\’re a tough critic, so thx. And TTYL.
Kris –
I know you are just kidding about this, but you could be the best thing that ever happened to NAR! (So I made up a resume, signed your name, and sent it in to them.) Pretend to not be surprised when they call you!
Kris — If NAR’s sad attempt at the job description doesn’t make you wince, then I’m not sure what would. Though I’ve never been a supporter of NAR, CAR, or our local screw-ups, that piece of text was surprising even to me. It’s sadly obvious NAR leadership would have to move up at least a couple rungs on the ‘internet knowledge’ ladder to reach clueless.
It’s embarrassing. And btw, you still crack me up.
Kris ~ Your blogs are so educational. I didn’t know the Internet was based in Chicago! Thanks for informing me.
kk