The San Diego Home Blog

It’s time for some San Diego and Scripps Ranch real estate market trends.

This business of home sale statistics is tricky and confusing. Like everything else, it depends who you ask. As reported in the San Diego Union Tribune and according to the Case-Shiller Index of real estate prices (who can dispute Case-Shiller?), San Diego County housing prices have dropped 9.6% in the past year.

The California Association of Realtors shows a 6.2% year-over-year price decline for single family detached homes in San Diego. DataQuick’s numbers are by region and zip code and range from overall declines of 2.9% in the North County Coastal communities to a 17.8% decline in the harder-hit South County. DataQuick also shows a 3.1% increase in prices for Central San Diego detached homes and a 11.4% increase for new construction, and an overall 24.2% increase in Scripps Ranch prices. Yeah, right. Finally, Zillow brings the Scripps Ranch Zindex in at -1.3% and places the year-over-year San Diego Zindex at -8.9%

To summarize:

I much prefer the intuitive approach. As a foot soldier in the trenches, this much I will tell you with certainty: Pricing pressure continues downward, market times are up, sales are down, and there really are some decent values for those who need or want to buy in this market if you know where to look and if you look in terms of value today and not where you think values might be on American Home Buying Day.

It helps to take a few steps back and consider the bigger picture, and this is where Altos charts are most useful. I particularly like their Market Action Index, which is a measure of supply versus demand. Altos describes a Market Action Index of below 30 as buyer’s market territory. As the index continues to trend downward in sub-30 territory, it is reasonable to expect that prices will follow. These charts for San Diego and for Scripps Ranch show that the market continues to be more favorable to buyers.

You can always find the real time charts for San Diego and for six inland communities, including Scripps Ranch, on our website here. The tables on our site are manually updated, and as we get busy, they may date back a few weeks. Rest assured that by dinner time, these will be current as of today. At least, that is my plan.

I am trying to get caught up with the blogging side of my life after a week-long flurry of real estate activity. For inquiring minds, let me just say that this is always our busiest time of year, and I am speaking from a business perspective. A post will follow on this topic. In the meantime, I am remiss in linking to the online conversation I had with Greg Swann from Bloodhound Realty in Phoenix, Arizona and Daniel Rothamel (more affectionately known as the Real Estate Zebra) from Charlottesville, Virginia. The topic du jour was the paperless transactions but, as expected, we digressed.

 Yes, I look like a pin-head. I am in dire need of a good handler or stylist or something, but give me credit for being brave in the face of bad-lighting adversity.  

 Here’s the link for those that have too much free time on their hands.

Take blogging, for example. By spending just a few hours a month finding and linking to interesting articles and information - and scribing a few themselves here and there…

Yeah, that’s about right - A few hours a month. Maybe write a post or two, here and there.

Once I picked myself up off the floor and wiped the spittle from my keyboard, I had to at least appreciate the fact that the California Association of Realtors is trying to promote Web 2.0-ish practices to its members. This pearl came from CAR’s quarterly magazine on real estate trends and technology.

We haven’t posted here in a week and, in blog years, that puts us in serious danger of being yesterday’s newspaper. Like our business, sometimes our blogging is necessarily cyclical. This is, after all, intended as a complement to our core business of representing buyers and sellers in the real estate transaction. The need to prioritize often rears its uncoiffed head and dictates that we redirect our attention, at least temporarily, to matters of greater import - like closing escrows. But, like tackling a pile of long-unattended, unwashed laundry, playing catch-up can be daunting. I have some catching up to do, and I will do it because my value to my clients and my success depends on it.

Just Trust Me

…REALTORS nationwide are using technology to feed information to clients who, in turn, have come to view those bloggers as experts in their fields.

I give our readers more credit than thinking that a couple of hours of linking to interesting articles is going to leave them with the impression that I am an expert in my field. If that is my approach, what am I really feeding them? Unfortunately, this is consistent with the habits we have adopted throughout the years. “Neighborhood Specialist,” “#1 Top Producer” and the like have become hollow phrases that we toss about with so much arrogance and superiority yet most often absent any substantiation.

The article my quotes came from was well-intended. Yes, agents need to keep up with technology. Yes, agents need to use all available tools to provide their visitors the most satisfying experience. I couldn’t agree more. It is the underlying theme that I object to in that it misses the mark entirely - The implication is that having a Web 2.0 presence is an event rather than a process. Nearly everything “taught” to the real estate agent is about lead generation (real estate buzz words for getting more business), and the lip service given to blogging is no different. When we stop referring to our potential clients as leads and start seeing them for who they are, our future employers, our efforts just might shift back to providing value and excellence. This is where our energies belong and have always belonged. Be exceptional and the rest will follow.

I understand that an honest expose on the commitment required to create and manage a contemporary online presence would not necessarily have the desired result; it would send the antiquated agent running straight to the foxhole from fear. But, to the agent who is determined to stay relevant and visible in a web world moving faster than a locomotive, presenting blogging in such a simplistic light is dishonest if not irresponsible. It is dishonest because, well, purporting that effective blogging can be accomplished in one’s spare time, between proofing the artwork for the bus bench ad and addressing the recipe card mailers, is just so much drivel. And, it is irresponsible for many reasons.

Reaching Out

This same article described agents and brokers as “never ones to shy away from a new way to reach out to and work with clients.” I could argue that our collective is not the mascot for the Team of Forward Thinkers, but that would be too obvious. Instead, I’ll argue that there is much more to blogging than “reaching out.”

How about simply desiring to better ourselves as professionals? Seminars and fancy professional designations (GRI, CRS, ePro, AWOL, AARP) are encouraged by our brokers and our Associations until we are red in the checkbook, yet what about the knowledge that can be acquired through participating in the online discussion? I can read a two-page, large font article published on stuff of tree origin devoted to technology or ethics or transaction issues, or I can read and participate in the online discussion at hundreds of outstanding and thoughtful blogs.

There is so much information to be gained in the web world that can only make us better agents. As agents, we scream that we are a much-maligned class, yet we are not equally committed to improving our real credentials which come less from a bunch of fancy letters behind our names and more from our breadth of knowledge and experience. If our mentors spent a little less time promoting blogging as a form of lead generation and advertising, and a lot more time promoting blogging as a new and better form of continuing education, we might find ourselves capturing those leads. And they will have been earned.

Making it Look Easy

In the mid-’90s, the word was that everyone needed a website, and for those seeking instant gratification, it was oh-so easy. Buy one. Of course, as in all commerce, you get what you pay for. And, whether it be Web 1.0, Web 2.0 or some kind of future web involving scientific notation, the cost is not measured in dollars but in effort. Consumers will agree that while now virtually every agent has a website (well, almost), the canned, inferior ones can be spotted before the page loads. The agents who cared enough to learn to do it well and better, to invest the time to provide unique and meaningful content, were the ones that benefited.

Blogging is no different. To suggest that a couple of hours a month and an occasional “scribing” constitutes a blogging effort is pure lunchmeat. Each hour I spend reading or writing or conversing online results in my having a better understanding, a new point of view, or a new tool to make my services more effective and more valuable to my clients, and two hours a day, much less two hours a month, just scratches the surface. It can never be enough if betterment is your goal.

There is no magic to achieving success. Being remarkable in any endeavor is hard work. A canned blog with an occasional post may make you feel progressive, but it is nothing more than smoke and mirrors, and eventually the audience will figure out the trick. If you ever do attract eyes, they won’t stay long. Where’s the beef? Content has to be fresh, consistent and interesting. It takes discipline, devotion, an enormous amount of time, a love for the business and a passion for writing. If you don’t possess these qualities, you will have a difficult time at best creating a lasting online presence. You can buy your way out, pay for someone to create your blog and then pay for someone to write your content, but it won’t be your personality or your voice. So, in the end, you will have neither generated the coveted leads nor will you have contributed to elevating your image or the image of your profession by demonstrating excellence.

The Social Network

In the good old days, a large part of the agent’s value was his network, and this network was entirely of the terra firma variety; office meetings, broker pitch sessions and flesh-to-flesh encounters were how the relationships were built. An agent’s network still has value today, make no mistake, and these traditional ways of establishing professional relationships still apply, but our networking capability is virtually unlimited as we move online.

The MLS is no longer functionally proprietary, so we network for different reasons. No longer is it necessary for us to deal our listings from our secret deck to other agents in order to match our respective buyer and seller clients, and this is a good thing. It is forcing us to reconsider where our true value is, and actually has always been - in our intellectual property.

If you see blogging as purely a lead generation tool, then you will argue that a blog which attracts a large number of industry eyes and involves primarily discussion among agents is a self-absorbed waste of time. On the contrary, this is modern day networking at its finest. We share our unique philosophies, systems, business approaches, and our experiences. My knowledge base has become infinitely broader as a result of this shop talk, and consumers following the conversation not only learn along with me but gain insight into my qualifications and commitment to my work. They are not leads; they are potential employers, and this is my resume.

Pop Quiz

The idea of blogging is pop culture. The contemporary agent must sign up quickly, we are told, to stay competitive. Many of the very people telling us that we must do it, however, have no real concept of what “it” is. Many certainly haven’t thought through the real opportunity blogging provides; namely, the opportunity to refocus our efforts toward improving our skills and value to our clients and at the same time effectively demonstrating and communicating our credentials. These are things in which we have generally failed in the past.

I choose not to think of my site visitors as leads, but as people who might consider employing me some day. I must interview for the job and earn their confidence. My blog is my written exam, and it just happens to be open book. And I will continue to study.

Fridays for most are the end of the work week, a sort of welcome-wagon to consecutive days off, and Friday night becomes the “big night out.” Friday nights for me are no different.

Nothing says fun like spending a couple of hours with your favorite photographer. My hot date a couple of weeks ago was Ian, and our clandestine meeting took place at 11805 Ridge Run Way.

Our listing at 11805 Ridge Run Way in the Tiempo neighborhood of Scripps Ranch provided a perfect setting for my second foray into twilight photographer. What made this home different was that our first candidate begged for night shots because of the impressive curb appeal and dramatic front lighting, not to mention a few twinkly lights from the view decks. Ridge Run, by contrast, is all about the view from the rear.

Here is an afternoon shot of the front of the home followed by a shot taken at twilight. While I still prefer the feel of the photo captured as the sun was setting, I don’t find that one is dramatically superior to the other, at least not superior enough to justify the added expense.

Front yard lighting at this home is not generous, so shots taken when it was darker yet just didn’t work.

The rear yard performed fabulously at night, but these two photos underscore the need for both sunlight and twilight photos in certain circumstances.

 Finally, I believe that reserving twilight photography for view homes alone is a mistake. Had this home backed to a Motel 6, which it clearly does not, the evening shoot would have been worth it. Most agents come to learn that some homes are “daytime” homes, while others put on their best faces at night. This particular home positively glowed with warmth as the skies darkened.

Both the day and night shots had value in the case of this property. From a marketing standpoint, you can’t be sure what will speak to your ultimate, perfect buyer. Will he be a view guy? Will he be moved by images of backyard fun, “light and bright” daytime activities or romantic evening scenes? The purpose of the photography is to tell a story and appeal to the buyer on an emotional level and, since we don’t know our buyer during the early stages of marketing, twilight shoots ensure that all bases are covered.

It’s Thanksgiving week, and we are back at our Lake Arrowhead cabin for a little WTF, or Working in the Field. The advantages of a wired world are also our nemeses. To a real estate agent, there is no such thing as a real vacation.

I call it our little falling-down A-frame, which annoys Steve immeasurably. The fact is that it is a charming, not so gently used, older, smaller, in need of a lot of cosmetic (and a little structural) surgery cabin. It is sandwiched between newly constructed, more impressive homes with all of the modern amenities (say, a garage), but it is ours. It is a cabin on its fourth owner, and we represent two of those “guys”. We have loved it both times we bought it, but that is a story for another time.

So, our little falling-down A-frame is host this week to three laptop computers (one that is very shiny and now has an operational ”3″ key, but one that has spontaneously deemed outgoing email to be a non-essential feature). We have a fax machine, a printer, four cell phones, two external hard drives, a Docusign electronic signature account, one broadband wireless connection, and a neighbor who apparently didn’t see fit to secure his home wireless network. He will be getting a very big, anonymous fruit basket this year. Ah! Family fun shall ensue… any moment… I’m waiting.

You see, my daughter’s teachers subscribe to some very strict District Standards requiring that only the most involved homework projects be assigned on days immediately preceding vacation days, projects on par with a Mt. Everest summit attempt. Since the San Diego fires took the schools out of commission for a week, their workload has been doubled this week. The learnin’ must go on, they have been told to play catch-up,  and we are at advanced base camp. I will see them this week only when I venture into their caves periodically to throw them some raw meat.

Generally, we get more done in the mountains than we do at home. This is because the distractions are fewer. Generally. This week, though, our next door neighbor has elected to rebuild his entire four-story concrete monument to the architecture-out-of-context-with-the-surroundings Gods. At this moment, I believe they are jackhammering bedrock. The process of making deafening noise began at 7:30 AM, and will by all accounts continue until my understated VW bug pulls off the parking deck on Friday. On the other side, our unknowing supplier of the unsecured wireless connection is also “doing work.” We suspect he is either building new decks or flying an F-14 in his living room. Sound echos up here, so it is really hard to tell for sure. And, somewhere down the hill, we have a little Ringo wannabe practicing his art. I’m tempted to start whacking away at the top of our Broil-Mate Grill with a tire iron just to fit in.

We are about a mile or so from ground zero of the recent Grass Valley fire, and I am surrounded by noisy irony. While Builder Bob on one side of me and Dozer Dave on the other go about their business of improving their homes, big impressive homes that are sticking their proverbial tongues out at our little neighborhood eyesore, hundreds of people within their ear-drum busting broadcast area are without homes. We ventured over to the area hardest hit today. It was a long, sad hike.

This sign was hung from a couple of pine trees in front of a lone home. As far as we could see in any direction, no homes had been spared. Fires are funny that way.

The lighting wasn’t particularly kind to me this afternoon, so I only captured a couple of rough shots.

If this photo were full size, you would more clearly see the incongruity of a large, metal sunflower and “Welcome” sign still standing in what was presumably the garden, next to a tree with the lot-clearing vendor’s sign proudly displayed.

This picture is symbolic of what we witnessed at every lot - For those familiar with Lake Arrowhead, we were on Modoc near Brentwood Drive. A fireplace in a fire place.

Steve and I have speculated what impact this might have on the real estate market up here. This is really a unique little Southern California microcosm. There are more second home owners (or flatlanders, as the locals not so affectionately call us) than full-time residents. In San Diego, it was primary residences which were primarily effected. Where the vast majority of San Diego fire victims will likely rebuild and, at a minimum, will need replacement housing, not so in this community where much of the housing is discretionary.

Arrowhead Woods, the area with “Lake Rights”, consists of approximately 11,000 homes (comparable to Scripps Ranch in size), and the market here has dramatically slowed over the past year as it has been down the hill. Yet, on any given day, there are between 400 and 500 homes for sale, compared to the 100 to 130 you will find in Scripps. Statistically, the housing loss in Lake Arrowhead is more significant than in San Diego. How many will just choose to sell their lots and call it a day? The potential glut of lots on the market may prove lucrative for the local building industry, and future flatlanders will eventually have many new, modern and impressive homes from which to choose, but I can’t believe this is going to be a boon for local prices. Good thing we were not planning on selling our “charming” little retreat any time soon.

I am going to busy myself tomorrow, between some WTF real estate stuff, with trying to clean up the refrigerator runoff. A week without power and a freezer full of ice cream and frozen margarita mix are not good bedfellows. Frozen confections in their natural states instinctively, much like a plumbing leak in the upstairs bath, seek refuge in lower places. And, they make big solidified, sticky puddles once they have escaped. At least I still have a refrigerator, albeit a gooey one.

Today, sellers are having to learn a new operating system. They don’t like it. It’s unfamiliar territory, territory in which nothing seems to work right, “right” being defined as the way it used to be. The initial inclination when faced with change is denial.

But I Have Done This Before

This week my daughter’s two-month-old laptop went kapluey. The truth is, it never worked properly from the beginning, but things were getting progressively uglier. The purchase was necessitated by an old, slow desktop running on Windows XP. We were at the point where she would routinely miss a birthday waiting for her old computer to boot. One last trip to the Zac Efron fan club site was going to put her out of commission once and for all. Sure, I should have had boys, but it is far too late for that.

I wanted to buy another XP, but that was no longer an option. The shelves were full of shiny new computers, all operating on Vista. Vista is new, and like any new frontier, I knew there would be a learning curve and growing pains. I knew there were “issues,” bugs that had not been worked through and software compatibility concerns that had not be fully addressed, but I ignored the little voice in my head (which it turns out was the voice of Steve Jobs trash-talking Bill Gates). If everything was running on Vista now, I told myself, it would all be just fine, just fine like the hundreds of computer replacement rituals I had performed before. I visualized the same results I had always enjoyed: Unbox, plug it in, go!

As recently as 2005, sellers were in a plug-and-play world. We aren’t talking about the mechanics of closing the transaction but the part about getting under contract. The only essentials in their home selling kit were a yard sign and an agent with access to the Multiple Listing Service who was breathing unassisted. The instruction manual was embarrassingly simple. Review recent sales, set a price five to ten percent higher than last sale, erect yard sign (included), place in MLS, and have a cup of coffee while waiting for multiple offers to pour in. Staging? Hah! It has four walls and a front door, doesn’t it? If the buyer doesn’t like it, he can hire his own decorator.

Vista Must Die

I spent a combined 10 hours this week (and I am being conservative) on the phone with my new BFF at the India Microsoft “Help” Desk who called himself Sam. Before you accuse me of stereotyping, let me assure you that he was in India. I knew this because we spent a lot of time together rebooting and uninstalling and reinstalling, and we spent our “down time” getting to know each other. “Where are you?” I asked. “India,” he said. This is how I knew. I also came to know that India is over 20 hours ahead of my time in San Diego, that Sam likes working the night shift, and that his favorite color is green.

I was used to instant gratification, so when my BFF told me that he would have to “escalate my case,” I made a very sad face. My new computer was not working right, and he was telling me that he, from his “Help” desk, couldn’t fix it. I started hearing things like “corrupted file”, “faulty components” and even “bad software.”  Balderdash! I had never had problems before and the computer was new and pretty, so therefore it should be working perfectly. My computer is special! Naturally, I blamed Sam. While I was at it, I blamed Best Buy for selling me the system, Bill Gates for spearheading the product, my husband for helping spawn the daughter who needed the computer, and, just for good measure, Redfin.

Sellers are finding people to blame for longer market times, lower prices, and, in some cases, failure to sell. Their list, like mine, is long. First, there is the agent. Shouldn’t the agent be able to fix it? Their job, after all, is to get the house sold. Forget that some components may be corrupt (price, location, condition). These things didn’t use to get in the way of a sale! Add to that the uncooperative buyer pool, the lenders, the media, and Kevin Bacon (just for good measure). When the home selling process isn’t working right, when things aren’t happening the way they used to happen, it has to be someone else’s fault.

When the Help Desk is No Help

Each time Sam and I parted ways (”I’ll call you back after I do a some more research”), I was a heat-seeking missile to the Google search box. Driven by a little sense of do-it-yourselfer arrogance and lot of frustration, I searched myself into a state of fix-it frenzy. I knew, despite the protestation of Microsoft Sam (who was now not calling me back, my case presumably having been escalated to a very high trash bin), that there must be a way to fix it. But, while I knew just a little bit about my old operating system, my new operating environment was unfamiliar to me. Caught in an infinite Google loop of advice, I was getting a thousand solutions handed to me by my new cyber-friends, each one different. Everyone had an opinion, everyone had the answer, to the point that I was paralyzed with utter confusion.

Sellers and buyers have countless resources on which to base their real estate decisions. The Internet is a veritable candy store of advice and answers. Everyone they know and everyone they meet, from their gardener to their plumber to their cousin in El Paso, is eager to dispense wisdom on market trends, pricing issues and the mechanics of transacting real property. The market is going down, prices are nearing the bottom, February of 2015 is optimum for buying or selling, wait until Spring, and on and on. Many consumers are utterly confused. The “Help” Desk is getting a bit crowded.

Time for a Clean Install

It was then that I heard the four words I fear most. “Wipe the hard drive.” Aeieeee! You mean I have to start over? I was making a lot of new friends this week, and the most recent inductee into my circle of people-I-spend-more-time-with-than-my-husband was Chris at Best Buy. Actually, Chris wasn’t a new friend. We go way back.  He was the one that fixed the “three” key when it fell off of the shiny new Vista-driven laptop last week. (Being a prime number, trust me when I tell you that the “3″ is somewhat indispensable.)  And, nary a quarter goes by when I am not slinking into my personal Urgent Care Center, completely defeated, and struggling to deliver a clumsy and antiquated, terminally ill electronic device to pre-op.

Now, there is a little thing I learned about Best Buy long ago. They always have a solution, and they have simplified the process by making sure it is the same solution every time. Start over. Wipe the hard drive. Exorcise the demons, and begin from scratch. In fact, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure restoring the three key to its former glory might have involved a clean install. I don’t entirely believe that Chris and Company take this approach because they are unable to identify the precise problem. On the contrary, I think that I have generally mucked things up so badly by the time I concede my destiny to professionals that I have left them no choice. If only from the outset I had trusted those that knew a little bit more about computers, the ones that do nothing but deal with computers every single day, I might not have found myself in this predicament.

Here’s the thing. I know the product as an end user. I can operate it, and I have acquired enough knowledge from watching the experts troubleshoot over the years on my behalf to be able to self-help my way out of many routine situations. But, I haven’t seen it all; they have. I don’t have any experience with this new operating environment; they do.

I could have wiped the drive myself, but that is risky business. I might have been successful and saved a few bucks. On the other hand, if I had messed up, the consequences would have been more costly yet. Many sellers are finding that a clean install is in order. Maybe when their agent, and not their neighbor, offers a price opinion, they should follow the agent’s advice. Maybe a ninety-day average market time really does mean three months, and expectations to the contrary are unrealistic. Maybe engaging in aggressive staging even when you don’t want to move your vast Hummel collection into storage, accepting that optimum exposure is necessary, even when showing arrangements are inconvenient and may conflict with nap time, and recognizing that, while you are familiar with the way things worked yesterday, your agent is much more prepared to assist you in ensuring that things will work today are all required to avoid a crash.

V is for Victory (and Vista)

My daughter’s shiny new laptop, which ironically has the limited purpose of serving as a word processor and a conduit to Facebook, is fully operational, but it took too much of my time and, ultimately, professional intervention. Once I was able to concede that I didn’t know as much as I needed to know, it was smooth sailing. We were back in business.

One final word about my Geek Squad buddies. I have used their services more than a few times, and in the process I have done a significant amount of my own research. I have learned a lot about their business but not enough to disintermediate them entirely. What I do know has allowed me to recognize that some of my friends are better than others. Without naming names, I know which one doesn’t really listen to my description of my symptoms and needs, I know which one tends to make things up, thinking I am not smart enough to know the difference, I know the one who really doesn’t have all that much experience and generally takes three times as long to solve my problem, and I know the one who always gets results. He’s the one I ask for.

Consumers should take the time to educate themselves. The knowledge they acquire will not replace the need for a professional in the transaction, but it will enable them to identify the best professional for the job. It can be fixed, and it can work right, but we are operating in a different environment now, one which may be foreign to you.  You just need to be willing to ask for help and follow the right advice.

The Declaration of Independence 

If we had a dollar for every time… How many times have we said that? At the risk of compromising our street cred, this latest one is for real. Well, actually, it’s not the latest, as we have been hearing it for about twelve months running. We hear it when we are holding an open house, at the grocery store, at a school function and even at the gas station. We hear it from the prospective buyers. After asking us, “How long has it been on the market?”, ”Why are they moving?”, and “Is there going to be a price reduction soon?”, we inevitably hear the next declaration.

“I think I’ll just wait SIX MONTHS.”

A thoughtful explanation invariably ensues. “My (dentist, Uncle Phil, barber, therapist, insurance guy, mailman) says that in SIX MONTHS it will be the right time to buy.” Of course, these experts have it all over Jim Cramer from CNBC who, as our alert reader ”Rido” pointed out, identified next March as the bottom of the market and, therefore, “the time” to buy homes again. The Federal Reserve Board, most economists, and even the National Association of Realtors have yet different opinions, but what do they know? Naturally, the smart money is on Uncle Phil.

Six months, six months, six months… There are so many people waiting to make a home purchase, and all of these people seem to be zeroing in on a single day 182 1/2 days from now. You heard it here first: All hell is going to break loose.

The one thing we most need in this current market is certainty. Thankfully, we seem to have a quorum and a consensus. All seem to agree that the optimum buying time-frame is six months. The only remaining question is, “Six months from when?”  

We the People 

Somebody has to take a leadership role. So, we are here to bring sanity to the table. A moving target causes angst, it causes frustration and it results in undue stress and premature graying. Wishy-washy targets benefit no one. We need to establish the exact day on when it will be okay for the ever-growing gridlock of buyers to safely venture from the sidelines.

Therefore, let it be known that, in order to create a more perfect union, the time begins now. Six months from today is May 15, 2008. If the barber, the dentist, Uncle Phil, and other studied pundits in our collective spheres of influence are all correct, do you have any idea what will happen on this date? It will be chaos.

Society Without Government 

The latent demand is just too enormous, and anarchy can get ugly. Remember the debut season of Tickle Me Elmo? Imagine, then, a day when throngs of home-seeking buyers take to the streets finally ready to call dibs on their favorite home (you know the one - “model-perfect”, “priced to sell” , “bring all offers”, “koi pond conveys”). And, then, they will proceed to beat the crap out of each other with their respective Zestimates. In order to avoid this impending doomsday scenario, we need to bring not just certaintly but order to the process.

Hail to the Chief

That’s why we propose May 15 as our newest National Holiday, “American Home Buying Day”. This way, we can all count on it and plan accordingly. Government agencies can coordinate traffic control and emergency personnel. Costs to the taxpayers can be offset by selling strategic advertising, such as “593 Shady Sunset Happy Place Lane brought to you by Jim’s Discount Tire and Mortgage.” Real estate agents will have lotteries to determine in which order their clients will get to see each home. “Number three-zero-six: Please report to “Lovingly Maintained 4BR Plus Bonus Room, Owner May Carry.” Thinking about it, this is so much better than the arbitrary way we do business now, just showing multiple and random homes, willy-nilly, over the course of months and months. Now, the conversation will be much different. Buyer: “Can we see the home this weekend?” Agent: “No, you’ll have to wait until American Home Buying Day. Take a number.”

America was made great by increasing efficiency which led to enhanced productivity. Eliminating all but one day a year to buy a home will do the same thing. It’s the six-month solution. We will fly our flag proudly, in the colors of Sienna Sand and Arizona White.

What a great country!