I made a mistake early in my career (many, actually). I had seen the shorthand MLS entry used before, I understood it, so being a new agent with one of my first listings, I decided to adopt the language of the big boys. My showing instructions proudly read “CLAFATS”. Naturally, my first call was from an agent asking what “Call a Fats” meant.
I have always found the use of acronyms without explanation arrogant, a form of showing off. Truthfully, this has always been a big peeve of Steve’s, and I have dutifully adopted his point of view as any good wife should. I’m not sure if the language of Real Estate is in fact arrogant, lazy or just plain stupid, but here are my favorites (all to be found among the confidential remarks sections of todays active San Diego listings).
What They Say – What They Mean
CLAFATS - There it is again! Call listing agent for appointment to show.
B2VAB4COE – Buyer to verify all before close of escrow. Which, by the way, is a dumb thing to waste valuable space on, since we have disclosures out the wazoo to say just this. Absent the execution of those disclosures during escrow, I doubt seriously this MLS statement alone would provide any legal protection whatsoever against misrepresentation, or for publishing incomplete or inaccurate information.
CF,GD or CF/GD or CFGD – This either means Call First/Go Direct or is an advisory to Call God ahead of time. I have seen cases where both would apply.
SELLER HAS BABIES!!! – OH MY HEAVENS!!!
Family memerin prop w/roommate – I can’t find the space bar, but a family “memer” is either proposing to the roommate or doing something involving props. Either way, I don’t want to go there.
Vacant/LBC – Property is vacant but they may be hosting the Louisiana Baptist Convention.
SF incldes (sic) 40 SF non-permitted compuer (sic) loft -The agent is an idiot.
CF30MINNOT – Call first, something about 30 minutes, or maybe NOT.
CA1HRGO – We are going to California in one hour.
No Lockbox, by appointment with agent, Lockbox on Bench – We don’t want you to have any earthly idea how to get it into the property, and we like to answer phone calls from confused agents all day.
Thxs for showing - Either I devised a clever way to save typing two characters or I dot my “i’s” with little hearts, or both.
Seller Selects Services – I am establishing up front that I, the listing agent, shall wield all power, even though I know this by law is a negotiable item between principals.
HAGWE! (Have a great weekend).
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Kris Berg is Co-Owner and Designated Broker of San Diego Castles Realty. If not-so static web sites are your thing, go here at once where you will find loads of real estate information including homes for sale, market trends, floor plans and more. Kris's hobbies include fencing and spot welding. She likes kittens. 
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
The preferred shorthand here in Boise is “BTVA”.
Translation: “Buyer To Verify All”, which I supposed naive agents think will save their bacon if they misrepresent a material fact that the buyer didn’t discover by “verifying all”?
Sure wouldn’t want to be standing in front of a judge and try to talk my way out of that one!
Thanks for the secret decoder ring Kris.
I found this gem just yesterday, in the “agent only” remarks:
SILREAIAZ!!!
It took awhile, but I believe that means “Seller Is Licensed Real Estate Agent In Arizona”. I’m not sure what was the purpose of including the exclamation points…
On more than one occasion, I’ve seen this: “Vacant, call occupant for showing”
Roughly translated: “I’m a complete bozo”.
Then, in the PUBLIC remarks, there was this one: “$1,000 bonus to buyer agent for full price offer before August 14!” Not “accepted offer”, just an offer… If it hadn’t been in NOVEMBER when I saw it, I would have submitted a full price offer just to collect the one grand.
I did like this one though: “DO NOT go in the backyard! The big giant dog likes to eat people.”
This one just got me today.
Show instructions: Call first owner 999-999-9999. Funny, I got a weird telephone company message. Must be on a different planet.