We’re all born brave, trusting, and greedy, and most of us remain greedy. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
This business can be so trying. I mean this not from the standpoint of hard work and long hours, but from the almost daily disillusionment I experience at the hands of many of those I encounter. This week I met a lot of great, honest, fair people. However, I have often said that if you want to see a true cross-section of America, visit the Department of Motor Vehicles. Everyone – rich, poor, kind, and mean-spirited – at some point or another will likely have business there. Some days I just feel like the DMV.
This week I had the pleasure of meeting a man who appalled me at his unadulterated lack of respect and his greed. I received a call late on a Sunday afternoon, which happened to be the very same Sunday afternoon when San Diego was in quite a quandry. Do we watch the nationally televised Charger game or the nationally televised Padres game (in the playoffs)? He wanted to see a listing at 6:00 pm. No worries; Steve is the big sports fan and, for both of us, business will always come first. After spending an hour or so in the home, this man expressed sincere interest in purchasing the property. Now comes the zinger I have become accustomed to expect. “I can walk into any real estate office in town and find an agent who would be happy to write the offer for me and give me some of his commission. How much will you give me?” Fair enough. We talked about the implications of dual agency, how in general terms the seller had structured their contract with me, and so on. He asked for the name of my “preferred lender”, at which point I gave him the name of a lender I trusted to be competitive, responsive and perform on time. We agreed to talk the following morning.
Here are some of the fun sound bites from the next day’s conversations:
- Conversation #1: “I am not prepared to pay anywhere near the asking price. So as to not waste time, have the seller give me their bottom line. I will tell you if it is good enough. In addition, tell me how much they will be willing to credit me for (list of items) and how much you will give me from your commission. Agents like to tell me to just make an offer, but that is not the way I like to do it.” I am looking forward to his class on Negotiations.
- Conversation #2: “While you are waiting on the seller to get back to you, think about this. You may not be aware of what is going on in the market, but prices are falling. Just thought you would like to consider that. Every month the seller doesn’t sell, they will lose 1% in value, yet I am willing to buy today. Keep that in mind”. Gee, thanks. I really don’t keep up on the market-thingy.
- Conversation #3: From me, “Since you asked me to ask, I had an obligation to present your question to the seller. Here is a range of what the seller is willing to entertain at this time. Imputed in their range are credits to you for (list of items) and real estate fee considerations. At this point, they would like to see an offer in writing”. From him, “What about your commission? How much are you going to give me?” Hello? Are you listening?
- Conversation #4: From the lender, “Who is the listing agent you have been talking to?” To the lender, “I don’t remember her name”. After an hour showing the home and three subsequent phone conversations, you don’t know my name? I know yours.
- Conversation #5: To the lender, “I can get a much lower rate from any internet lender. By the way, how much are you kicking back to the agent”? Kickback? Are you kidding me?
- Conversation #6:
There was no sixth conversation, as after having gone through 48 hours of verbal gymnastics, I was not given the courtesy of a return phone call. I can only surmise that the “incentives” offered (or not) by the seller, the listing agent and the lender were not considered to be a sufficient prize package. Of note is the fact that I offered on several occassions to send this gentleman comparable sales data to assist in determining value, but he had no interest. I guess the only thing that was important was how much he could stick it to everyone else.
Men are respectable only as they respect. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson






{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I would have fired him at:
“I can walk into any real estate office in town and find an agent who would be happy to write the offer for me and give me some of his commission. How much will you give me?”
Chris ~
You should have sent this guy down the road during the first phone conversation.
Life is too short to waste on people who disrespect you.
Your time would have been better spent watching either of those games vs. flapping your lips at someone who is obnoxious and impossible to please.
Just for giggles, check out my post “A Listing I Won’t Take” on http://www.BoiseBlog.com.
Hang in there!
Phil
Tough call, John. My first loyalty has to be to the seller who wants to sell their home. If I can make that happen, even with a less than delightful buyer, I have got to try. If they were all fun, reasonsable, respectable people, this job would be easy. I agree, though, that there are limits to how much *(&^ I should take before I send someone packing.
Phil, finally found your great post and will provide the direct link here. I couldn’t agree more, and have said it all before myself, but you said it better. We have declined many, many listings over the years (particularly in the past year), and each time it is liberating. Unfortunately, in most of those cases, we watch the price reduce over time with the agent who was hired because he/she told the seller what they wanted to hear. When the home does sell at the price we initially predicted, I have the satisfaction of knowing I was right, but the other agent has the satisfaction of cashing the check. Life’s not fair.
After this episode I believe it’s appropriate to issue my list of common sense buyer “Do’s and Don’ts”:
1. DO, at the very first meeting with the listing agent at the property, demand a portion of their commission. This will let the agent know who is in charge and highly motivate them to get you a really great deal from their Seller;
2. DO NOT show any respect for the listing agent you are asking to represent you as a Dual Agent. Respect will only weaken your position in the negotiations;
3. DO NOT ask for or review any market data. Being empowered in this manner will only make you look stupid if the deal does not succeed. You do not want to do anything that might even remotely suggest that you are willing to take responsibility for your actions;
4. DON”T ever make the agent aware that you already know that the market is dropping 1% per month because the agent may advise you to wait 100 months and get the property for free.
5. ALWAYS accuse the agent’s preferred lender (whom YOU asked for) of “kickbacks” to the agent so that you can “read” what type of reaction you will get and therefore prepare the lender for the “kickbacks” you will require of him;
6. NEVER try to remember your agent’s name as this may lead to a positive working relationship that may benefit you;
This “experience” reminds me of a phrase I once heard; “Do not ever underestimate the potential for human stupidity as you will only be profoundly disappointed.”
Very funny!
i know i’m late to the party, but i had to say that experiences like yours are why alan’s always telling me to lower my expectations of society so i’m not always so disappointed by other’s behavior. bottom line…people suck!!
(sometimes!!)
Fortunately, not always. Like your new name, by the way. (”Shannoln”?)